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You are more…….

Sometimes we feel less than. It can be caused by a stranger, boss, co-worker, friend, family member, or a partner in life. Things they say or how they treat you can make you feel belittled, disrespected, or degraded. It hurts and tears at your inner being.

It can have you questioning your qualities, abilities, worthiness, or even your purpose. It could be about your job position, a silly disagreement, or your meaning of life. Depending on the length of time you deal with it, it can be breaking you down. You shouldn’t question anything about your life unless it’s to better yourself and not putting yourself down.

If you work, live, or associate with someone who tears you down by words or actions….. know it is their problem and not yours. Nothing you do will change this behavior. You can’t fix it. It won’t stop unless the person acknowledges their actions and changes their ways.

Say you were running late daily to work and getting yelled at by your boss for not being responsible. Your boss made you feel less adequate to your co-workers who were timely and working hard. If you have areas you can improve then this is a learning experience and you need to work on bettering yourself in certain areas. But, if you show up to work everyday on time, get all of your work done, and your boss still finds a way to ridicule you as a power move, that’s abuse.

You need to know your worth. You need to know you are better than what is being said. You need to know how much you will withstand. Do you leave your current situation? Do you tolerate it? Are you able to learn it’s not about you, but them? Sometimes, we can’t leave right away. Sometimes, we need to stick it out. If you need to stick it out, hold yourself high. Stop fighting it. Let it fly over your shoulder to the ground where it belongs. Know it’s a personal issue the other person is dealing with and it really has nothing to do with you. It’s hard but you can do it.

If someone loves you, they support you and do not make you feel less than. But sometimes they don’t see what they are doing. If they feel the need to always be better due to their own insecurities, they will say and do things to keep themselves at a higher standard. They may not realize they are doing it. They may be in complete denial. That is a part of the problem. But it’s their problem, not yours. You were just brought into it.

You can get through this. You will need extra inner strength to let things fall and not let it hurt you. Hold your breath while you let it drop to the ground. Feel the tension, hurt, and pain pound the floor. Blow out that breath and release it. Let it all fly away. Taking with it the negative vibes till they disappear. Yes, you will need to do this every time until you no longer let it bother you. It could take weeks, months, or years. Depending on your feelings and if you keep yourself in the situation.

If you understand the personal issue is theirs, then it takes the burden off of you. It doesn’t make it not hurt or hard to get through, but you can. Don’t allow yourself to be abused. If it’s tolerable then fine, but abuse is never acceptable and you need out of that situation.

You are wonderful, fabulous, and terrific! You have so much value in this life. Don’t let others take it away or break it down. Although we want someone to build it up, sometimes we need to do it ourselves. And you, my dear, can do it!

Toni Dowrey
Motivational Author and Speaker

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