Dear Toni Tuesday………


Dear Toni,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for five months. He wants me to move in but it seems too soon. I do love him and I see us possibly getting married someday but I still have things I want to accomplish before jumping into a live in relationship. I feel bad because if I want to be with him the rest of my life, I don’t know what is stopping me. Advice? Thanks in advance.


Dear S,

After years of jumping on decisions against my better judgement…. I now ask myself this question. Will I regret not doing it? If the answer is yes, I do it. It has served me well. You also may want to ask yourself if you will regret doing it.

You don’t want to move in and wish you hadn’t. If there are things you want to accomplish that you might regret NOT doing first, that could be a burden on the relationship for years to come. If you are afraid of losing him and feel pressured to move in to keep him, that could be a burden for years to come.

You need to do what you feel is best for you and the relationship. I believe that if he truly loves you, he will let you accomplish your goals first. That way when you move in you are fully committing to him and that will hold a strong relationship. Many people have regreted jumping into relationships. Just because you love him, doesn’t mean you are ready to move in. There is nothing wrong with having your own places and going in between the two until you are both ready to live together.

If you decide to move in, have a back up plan. It’s not a sign of future failure. It’s a strong woman I take care of myself plan. Make sure you have enough in savings to get your own place, if need be. Make sure you have your own things to move out with (if need be). And don’t look forward to moving out, just always keep a plan.

Keep me posted. Best wishes to you!

Live fully~

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