Stop blaming and take responsibility……..

I know it can be easier to blame someone else rather than take responsibility for something that can be bad. A mistake, an accident, an argument, finances, relationship, and the list goes on. It is so easy to say, “Well, if YOU didn’t do this, then none of this would be happening!” instead of just looking at a situation and trying to fix it. We like to be right. We don’t like to claim when something bad can be our fault. We would rather pass the blame somewhere else so we don’t have to accept the responsibility that we are at fault. Even if we are not at fault we tend to let someone else know the blame is on them and some people have a bad habit of reminding them over and over.

Stop the blame! If you had any part of what may be happening……. accept it. Take responsibility and fix it. Being an adult is being able to handle situations where you know you may be at fault and then make it right. It is a time where you suck up your pride and admit you made an error and you are big enough to make it better. It can be in a relationship, work, something with family, or even you own self. We know the obvious blame. Say you get into a fight with your spouse. It is easy to blame them for the fight rather than to think you may have caused it. Or being late to work for the third time in two weeks. Yep, it was that traffic’s fault again! Not that you were running late and could not leave ten minutes earlier. Come on now. Be a big person and live up to where you might need to make changes to make situations better. And also learn to say you are sorry and mean it.

There is also the blame where there is no one to blame but yourself. Say you are on a diet. You are suppose to exercise four days a week. You only exercised one day because it was too cold outside. You blame the weather for not being able to exercise. Really? There are many others exercises that you could have done indoors. Or the ten pounds you didn’t lose because you wanted to eat all the food brought into work. Blaming your job for having food brought in all the time but not realizing the blame is self control. It could be you need to save to get new tires but they had this big sale and you spent more money than you should have. You take no responsibility on waiting to spend that money. You take no responsibility that you were not being responsible.

So, it was not your fault. Someone messed up really bad and it is now affecting you, too. You had no control over that situation but you get to pay for someone else’s actions. DO NOT continue to blame them. Don’t remind them over and over of why you are where you are because of what they did. It is not going to change anything. They know what happened so to be reminded on numerous occasions will not help. Take responsibility to move on and fix what you can. Take responsibility to do what you need to do in order to get yourself in a better situation. Use a bad situation to find something deep inside that will carry you stronger in life. Depending on the situation, use it to allow you to help others.

Life will throw us many curves. We can’t move forward in life if we blame everyone else and don’t take responsibility ourselves. You have one life. Don’t waste it blaming, use it to live the fullest with all that you have to give. Take responsibility of your life.

(I have more related information in my book “Finding You and Your Direction; 11 ways to find the real you” by Toni Dowrey available on

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