Dear Toni Tuesday……..


Dear Toni,

I love my friend and we have been friends for a long time. When we go out she always wants to go to bars and dance and hit on guys. If she finds a guy then he dumps her soon after. I am getting tired of it and trying to grow up and be a responsible adult and focus on work and paying bills. How do I get her to stop this? I don’t want to lose our fiendship. Help.


Dear H~

i would like to commend you on focusing on work and paying bills. This will be something we do the rest of our lives to survive and we need to be able to do this well.

One thing I noticed is that you asked, “How do I get her to stop this?” You don’t. That’s HER responsibility. As a friend, I know you want to help but as a person, she needs to care for herself. What you can do is lead her in other directions. If you want to try new things, tell her. Let her know you are tired of the bar scene and want to try movies, plays, wine and paint night, or indoor skydiving. Maybe skip the night scene and do daytime adventures like kayaking, wine tasting, hiking, ocean trips, or Netflix stay in.

Your friend should want to share quality time with you no matter what it is. If she can’t break the cycle then maybe you need to break it for you. It’s hard trying to be friends with differences and trying to focus on yourself. In this life people come and go. The only person who stays with you the entire time on earth is you. You need to do what is best for you but still have compassion for others. And true friends will be the same with you.

I hope this works with a wonderful river raft ride and fun day of adventure! I wish you all the best and as always, please follow up with me.

Keep moving forward~

Toni Dowrey

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